Are you constantly competing with the furniture to be inconspicuous around the office?
Does the thought of a presentation give you palpitations?
Then what you might be suffering from is a lack of self-esteem. It is a trait that can seriously hamper your growth, even if you have the intelligence to teach Einstein a thing or two about E=MC2 and the skill to show Bill Gates how to secure Internet Explorer.
Here's the lowdown on this problem that plagues many professionals, its identification, consequences and correction.
According to Colonel Ravi Joshi, a personality development trainer at the Indo-American Society, there are various signs that indicate a low self-esteem.
"Physical signs include poor body language and posture, guilty or apologetic expressions, a weak handshake, slow movement and low levels of energy, among several others," he says.
Behavioural signs include reluctance to call attention to oneself, to engage in a conversation, or to accept a change.
"Low self-worth individuals also avoid taking risks and perceive risks that other people fail to see. They usually lack goals and have a negative attitude," Joshi adds.
Emotional signs include being paranoid about becoming the object of ridicule. Or about having a sense of dependence on other people. Or constantly comparing oneself with others. Or doubting one's talent.
Sometimes, even seemingly smart people, with an air of confidence about them, can also have self-esteem issues. While some hide the problem well, others, especially those in high corporate positions, try to cover their lack of self-worth by being domineering and trying to act overconfident and superior.
"Such people make overbearing, untrusting and suspicious bosses and colleagues, who come across as obsessive control freaks," says Joshi.
If you have any of the above sides to your personality, it's time to give your self-esteem a much-needed shot in the arm before the consequences catch up with your career.
Facing the consequences
If not caught and corrected, low self-esteem can deeply affect your personal and professional life.
"Shunning challenges becomes a part of your personality. As a result, new responsibilities don't come your way and so promotions are also unlikely," says Joshi.
Most of the times, such people avoid communicating their ideas in a meeting with a group. Sometimes, these ideas come out in a private moment with a colleague or a boss. At other times, they just die inside the mind.
"If you are lucky, your colleague or boss will give you the credit for the idea. If not, either he or she will hog it or unintentionally forget to mention that it was your idea to begin with," he says.
Both scenarios will not contribute to your career graph, which will reach a plateau or even decline if you don't modify your personality.
The first step to getting the world to love you is to love yourself. Try these tips.
Making behavioral changes
Showing your vulnerability in a personal relationship might bring you closer to your partner> But as far as the workplace is concerned, it might backfire on you, feels Dr Tushar Guha, managing director of Nrityanjali, an institute for personality development in Mumbai.
"If you are a sensitive person by nature, try not to show it in front of colleagues. Emotions do have a place in the work space but you have to learn where which emotion should be used," he says.
Compassion and surprisingly, anger, if used correctly, can impact your work life positively. "Anger can help assertiveness. Blowing your top and going out of control when angry will only aggravate the problem. But if you put your anger down in black and white, that is, list the reasons for your anger, it can help you put your point across more effectively," says Guha.
Many believe that compassion at the workspace undermines your authority. But looking into a person's life beyond the office can help you identify the root of the problem and hence, eliminate it. "For example, a person might be efficient but may be showing signs of inefficiency lately. This might be because a personal problem is dogging him or her. If a colleague senses it, it lightens the emotional burden on the person who is going through the bad patch," Guha adds. Ever notice how a boss sharing his or her lunch with subordinates increases comfort levels?
Some emotions can harm your career graph. Jealousy and a superiority complex are the fastest ways to alienate your colleagues. "Belittling other people won't show you in a good light. It will just make your insecurity obvious," say Guha.
Body beautiful
One of the main reasons for low self-esteem is a dislike for one's body. This is why you will rarely find a fashion model lacking in the self-confidence department.
Dr Guha advocates examining yourself closely in the mirror and taking note of your pluses and minuses.
“See which of your features are your best. And highlight them. Project yourself the way you think you look best,” he elaborates. According to Guha, this technique is used extensively by showbiz folks, who are known to possess oodles of confidence.
Being positive about your physical appearance can translate into mental confidence. Taking a trip to the parlour, shedding that extra weight, and overhauling your wardrobe are some things that can do the trick.
Keep track of your progress
Write down your thoughts. It will help you deal with behavioural issues better.
"You will find it easy to look at your thoughts objectively once they are down on paper to check if your fears and concerns are unfounded," says Dr Guha.
To build on this, make note of your everyday successes. "It can be as little as saying no to a chocolate pastry when you are trying to lose weight.
Gradually, a positive picture will emerge and you will start seeing your potential," Joshi adds.
Set weekly goals and try to reach them. This is help to give your life a sense of purpose.
Get a life
Don't make your career the be all and end all of your existence. Growing in other spheres of your life can also boost confidence levels.
"See that your colleagues are not your only friends. Make friends outside of office and seek emotional support from your family. This way, you will be able to offset a bad experience in office with a good experience outside," says Mumbai psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty.
Don't abandon your hobbies either. "This is a common thing once we start pursuing our careers. It isolates us from what we enjoy doing and keeps us away from like-minded people," says Dr Guha. However, take care not to stick to only hobbies that make you a loner.
If painting is your hobby, seek out other painters and visit exhibitions where you can meet more people.
The purpose of your hobby should be to meet like-minded people and discuss subjects that you are comfortable with.
Get a social life
This one is an introvert's nightmare. But developing social skills is of supreme importance. This doesn't mean you need to randomly attend parties.
"Find a group of people at a party or a social event, who you are comfortable with and make an effort to talk to them. Once you open up you will find it easier to meet strangers and forge bonds," Guha says.
All you need to do is look around. There might be others who are sitting around alone. Approach them, they may be more receptive to company.
Your body language while talking to people is also important. There's nothing to get nervous about. "Look into the eyes of the person you are speaking to," says Shetty.
Developing a sense of humour can help you score brownie points with co-workers and new people you meet, says Joshi. This does not mean that you need to reel off witty one-liners.
You should learn to see the humour in a situation as well as be able to laugh at yourself.
Upgrade your skills
Upgrading your workplace skills can go a long way in giving yourself that extra dose of confidence.
"Upgrade them by way of a course or teach yourself and compete with yourself," he advises.
Work on your communication skills, as self-esteem increases or decreases depending on other people's perceptions of you.
"The 'how' is as important as the 'what'. So work on effectively communicating with people," says Guha emphatically.
Seek professional help
If you can't get it together, despite all your efforts, get in touch with a psychiatrist or attend a personality development class.
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